Strength in Vulnerability

There are days when I’ve been burdened down by the weight of my own story. I’ve gone through things that I’ve tried to process over and over, and I still end up being left blank. I start to question how I got here. I wonder how I didn’t see it coming. How I didn’t pay attention to the signs. How I wasn’t protected from what came to distract me and emotionally drain me. I’ve tried to understand the complexities of things that have happened in my life. And even now as I write, I can’t fully put into words what I feel inside to share with you. It can be difficult to muster the courage to share in greater detail what you don’t fully understand yourself.

I often want to get a glimpse of my circumstances through the eyes of God, but then I try to make sense of them on my own; which defeats the purpose of wanting to see them through His eyes. I don’t know how things work together for my good, I just know He does. There’s a time of waiting until the lesson unfolds for you to see why it took what you went through. It’s in those moments that you can grow beyond where you are. You can hold on to the only Anchor that will hold you up when aching makes you weak. Let God be your Source of real strength.

You can either be driven by your emotions, or you can take control over them by speaking what The Word says about your situation. You can have peace in the midst of your storm. Believe that you can, even when it’s raging and you find yourself being lost in a whirlwind of confusion. You don’t have to carry what was never meant for you to carry on your own. You can stop trying to do everything so right and so perfect. It won’t ever be that way. Be okay with not always getting it right. Be okay with being perfectly imperfect. You are growing to a level of maturity that will help you in what you have been called to do. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Beating yourself up for making mistakes only makes matters worse. I’ve learned this through the expectations that others have had of me, mainly those close to me, to get it right all the time. It will not happen. Rehashing the situation over in your mind only brings you down. Move away from any conversation, release any negative thoughts, and dismiss yourself from anything that no longer serves you.

Keep your mind on the things above. Don’t allow toxicity and negativity from yourself or others to derail you. You can make it through this. In God’s timing, you will see things for what they are. Trust Him and don’t allow what you’re trying to make sense of leave you questioning His goodness and love for you. Trust that He wouldn’t allow things to happen if He wasn’t working something out on your behalf. He will always be redirecting you when something fails that He never wanted for you. Rest in God. Know that this too shall pass. You are not your mistakes. You are not what anyone did to you. The peace of God can rule where your pain is, if only you let it. You were built to come out stronger than you feel in this moment.

Strength will make its way to you in your vulnerability. It has made its way to me, even now as I’m sharing my heart with you. When you open up to the truth of your pain, healing can rush in. You feel so much better when you let out what you’ve been holding in. Wounds that can’t breathe won’t heal. There in those wounds lies your strength. You can love others enough to share your deepest hurts, so they too can find true strength. When we let our guard down in openness and vulnerability, we could possibly get hurt. But we are also able to be ourselves without any pretenses. We are able to be free from the prison we put ourselves in while trying to self-protect. When you’ve been hurt by someone, shielding yourself is a common thing to do. We get in defense mode against those that hurt us, and we also try to avoid them altogether to prevent any further damage from occurring. Don’t hide behind the pain of being hurt by people because you think it will keep you safe. It’s in connecting with the pain that you can understand its purpose. Don’t be ashamed.

You may see those that hurt you as your enemy, but know the real culprit is Satan; he would rather you fall susceptible to his attacks. Satan fears you finding out who you are. He would rather you remain weak than to find strength in your weakness, by the only One who gives it (2 Corinthians 12:9). Don’t suppress or repress what is inside that needs to come out, because he won’t be able to use it against you later. Your weaknesses will resonate with others, in the place where you can open up and be you - authentically and unashamedly. Speak from that place within you and find inner-strength. A good place to start would be with speaking to God about what He already knows, and then you can share with those dearest to you. It’s through finding strength in your vulnerability that He gets the glory out of your story.

All my love.